Starting Over Without A Map

There was a feeling of needing to prove myself that cost me.

Starting over in life a few years ago, I felt massively behind. I began to question what everything before had been for. I had nothing to show for the life I used to live or for what I had previously achieved.

Suddenly, the clock was ticking. I looked around my environment and saw reflected back other people’s advancement and material gain; things I no longer had. With that came an overwhelming feeling of insufficiency.

It felt like moving through life with a knife at my back.

A constant urgency. The need to move with commitment and speed. To keep pushing forward. All driven by a fear of being seen as a failure or a floater.

The result? Going round in circles. Excessive spending in the wrong places, hoping it would help me advance. Wasted time. A slow feeling of inner erosion.

A high price to pay for self-imposed thinking and presumed social expectations.

The worst of it? I looked to the system that had worked for others and expected it to work for me. But it didn’t. The traditional path was never my route. I already knew this deep down.

Yet I still gave away my power and strayed from my own path.

Although there may be cause for celebration and liberation, starting over also comes with grief, pressure, and challenge.

Many don’t experience this. Most couldn’t handle it.

No one can see your journey. Much like your inner world, only the surface of the iceberg is visible.

My journey didn’t require justification or validation. It required self-focus and inner alignment.