The Unseen Work of Transformation

There is a place in life where nothing fits, and everything feels suspended.

This is the in-between…

There is a discomfort in living in the in-between: the loss of one place, moving towards the next, without yet arriving.

There is a pain and splintering as you forge your way: the pain of stepping backwards, and of leaning on old structures.

The conflict between your evolving self and a forgotten past, with old wounds resurfacing.

Almost as if you were stepping back into an identity or life that no longer fits.

With this comes a pain that is not sharp or fleeting.

It is agonisingly slow and deep. Like the tearing of a tissue that seems endless.

And yet, there is nothing you can do to stop it.

You must bear it.

Sidestepping it, numbing it, or avoiding it will only delay the process, or lead you into a different kind of pain: the pain of self-betrayal.

There is no fast track. There is no formula.

This is not a problem to be solved.

It is not an illness requiring medication, nor a wound needing surgery.

It is the discomfort of the in-between. The unknowing.

The dissolving of one life or identity, and the formation of another.

It is morbid. There are surges of grief, panic, desperation, helplessness, and sometimes hopelessness.

But all is not lost, despite how it feels. Because this, this is the process.

Within it lies transformation, quietly and inevitably unfolding.