Free Will vs Destiny: Are We Really Choosing Our Path?

Maybe you’re familiar with the feelings and thoughts of beating yourself up over past mistakes.

Or watching someone seemingly take all the right steps in the right direction.

Perhaps you look at yourself and your life and think, why not me?

I was listening to a random track from Alan Watts recently. I’m deeply interested in philosophy but rarely study or listen to it. And yet, the most resonant recording landed on my feed.

It reflected back all I had wondered; the path may very well be predetermined.

It brought me back to a question that has quietly followed me for years: free will vs destiny.

As someone who is highly responsible, and by that, I mean someone who takes full responsibility for their actions and will face consequences, accepts blame, and often takes on more than my fair share in any situation- I rarely push back.

I’ve eaten my fair share of humble pie.

I’ve made my apologies over history, endlessly (even when I would have liked to have been the one to receive an apology).

I believe in karma.

I consider all possibilities and weigh consequences.

And sometimes, I yield to my human desire and impulse.

Yet, I look at my life and (wait for it…) compare it to others. And I question: if I tried so hard… if I invested so heavily in therapy and coaching… had extensive lived experience… developed self-awareness… tried to choose consciously… did what others do… then how did I end up walking this path? And not the perfectly laid-out one, with flowers and gold lining, that I could have without a doubt- walked down?!

It’s always floated around in my mind that maybe free will isn’t as free as we think.

Perhaps… yes, I have free will, but there’s a radius in which I can use it? Of course, I can have coffee over tea. I can go for a walk. Drive to the next town. Meet a friend.

But perhaps… simultaneously… I cannot choose the weather, land that promotion, or meet that perfect partner. Can I move toward it? Absolutely.

What if my belief in responsibility for my life and all my choices is just a form of protection my brain creates to feel in control? What if all the hype around manifestation (which I believe to be true) leans more heavily on our need for control than we consciously realise?

I trained in clinical hypnotherapy knowing that it’s possible to refine our thinking, and I knew firsthand what it was like to manifest quickly and make aligned choices. But that doesn’t take into account trauma and past experiences, which heavily influenced my thirties.

It doesn’t take into account the conditioning we’re built from infancy that shapes our future experiences. It doesn’t take into account our patterning—awareness or lack thereof—and the environmental circumstances that can arise through life events outside our control.

And from that place, I’ve always questioned: what exactly is free will, and how much do we truly have?

A part of me has always believed we are destined to make certain choices that shape our path.

The way our mind works would support that.

And then I heard Alan Watts speak the same. That possibly we are the path itself, and it unfolds as we evolve.

That the other path never actually existed.

I don’t know about you, but as someone who takes full responsibility for their life, having that open question reflected back made me feel deeply settled and relieved.

I discovered that maybe my hyper-responsibility is survival.

That yes, we have responsibility over our lives.

We can make conscious, intentional choices.

We have free will.

We can choose our type of coffee.

While simultaneously walking one path, with all of its bumps and crates.

And there was no other path...

If you would like support while your path is unfolding, you are welcome to get in contact.