The Cost of Avoiding Life

I didn’t lose years of my life to indecision. I watched them slowly decay while I tried to avoid regret.

I lived a few years in paralysis and wasted time, trying to eliminate regret.

We are overexposed to infinite choices.

I’ve lived boldly, and in doing so, I’ve made some choices that came at a cost, specifically when it came to the pull between relationships versus career and personal fulfilment.

I had always prioritised my progression in career, which had eventually ended in painful breakups. In recent years, I chose to prioritise connection and relationships, even at the cost of personal fulfilment.

Having explored in both romantic connections and friendship, I’ve landed on the belief that no healthy relationship should require self-sacrifice for maintenance.

Your own fulfilment must walk alongside a fulfilled relationship.

Up until 2020, I had lived most of my life making decisions based off the answer of “What would I most regret not doing?”

This worked successfully. Outcomes were usually favourable to my ambitions. They left me feeling fully alive and aligned, and rarely resulted in regret. I knew I had chosen what felt right with what I knew, and what I needed. That approach became my compass, leaving me satisfied with my decisions even if life unfolded differently.

When this approach turned into paralysis from repeated emotional cuts and growing fatigue, no longer wishing to endure further loss, I froze. Too scared to make a mistake. Too tired to start again.

Where did that lead me? To a life that looked orderly but felt heavy.

Each day bled into the next, energy waned, and I realised I wasn’t living for myself—I was following a path laid out by social expectation and fear.

Staying still had become more dangerous than moving.

After recognising that I was losing my sense of self and mental wellbeing, I went on a deeply meaningful trip. A conscious act of connecting with my true self. It cracked open realisations that had been buried, a light that had been dimmed and dreams I’d kept dormant from prioritising others at the cost of my own growth.

The consequences were significant: unplanned, unforeseen life changes that propelled me into a new chapter and lifestyle. The intensity of that wake-up call made me realise how asleep I had been.

Regret is part of living.

While there are balanced and conscious ways to reduce unnecessary pain and risk, regret—like pain and risk themselves—is unavoidable if you are truly living.

The cost of regret is real. The cost of avoiding life is greater.